Posted in General Posts by Rosamaria Ponciano on 10/7/2011
As I sit here in my new home of Pittsburgh, I am meditating on how I can possibly (a) apologize to you, my supporters for not up dating you on my status since June (!!), and therefore leaving you in the dark for nearly 4 months, and (2) try to explain through a blog what I still cannot fully understand myself...
At this time i should be in Bolivia, getting ready for my fourth month on the World Race and getting excited to go on to Europe! And yet... it is October and I am still in Pittsburgh, committed to a one year lease and to a different 11 month program called Compass AmeriCorps with a different 50+ member Core... oh did I mention I get to READ the W squads facebook updates as to where they are and what they are doing constantly? That's how I know where I should be... and then I see where I am...which makes it difficult to still understand that it is here where God wants me to be...
Sooo... What happend?
Three weeks before I was suppose to take off on this epic adventure of ministry called the World Race, I found myself sitting in a doctors office hearing the following words being directed at me...to describe me: Pre-Cancer.
....
Life literally changed for me in a matter of seconds. I cannot describe the
number of options I asked about in order to let me go on the World Race... and
yet every time I thought I had the perfect solution that would somehow have me cured and ready to go in 3 weeks the doctor would say NO. She finally got to the point where she sat me down and said as bluntly as she could: "Rosa, let me put it to you this way... if you go on the World Race now... YOU WILL GET CANCER."
This was the moment I really did feel defeated. My eyes finally let go of tears that I had been building up since my diagnosis three days before... and I knew I had lost that battle to this pre-cancer evil. Not only was it pre-cancer... it was on it's final "pre" stage about to turn into cancer.
Looking back at these last couple of months, they seem like a black cloud over my life. Having to give up my dream of going on the World Race with a group that had become like family to me was one of the hardest things I had to do. I still cry about... To know that if I followed my dream my life would literally be threatened by cancer was something that at age 22 I was not ready to face... and yet challenges like these come to you when you least expect them.
... I wish I could tell you that I was able to take this news and see the bright side of things... like having thoughts such as: "Good thing they caught it on time!" or "at least I found out here and not on the World Race.," however the reality is that till this day it is still very hard to wake up every morning and face the reality of life...this challenge as I like to see it. Even as I write this I cannot believe it is my story I am telling. And yet, what i always say still holds true...it is the story God gave me to tell.. so I will tell it and I will live it! (easier said...)
After my diagnosis I went through surgery. Unfortunantely after my checkup they found that the pre-cancer had returned. I went to get a second opinion and this doctor did not find any pre-cancer cells. Next week I will have a 3rd opinion and hopefully this will determine something!
If anything this has taught me to fight harder for my dream. I am now scheduled to go on the World Race in September 2012 in the Route 1 with a new squad since I am not medically allowed to leave for a whole year due to constant monitoring. I have faith that God will heal me... that's if he hasn't done so already ;)
And like I said before, I am now taking this year to be an AmeriCorps member, working with refugees and immigrants in the Pittsburgh area. I also started dating David, the guy who I met the day I got accepted on the World Race over a year ago... hence the guy I knew I wanted to date... but I couldn't because of my commitment to the World Race. While he was willing to wait for me... God had different plans for us and now we have a year together before I actually leave on the World Race!
Life is crazy... unpredictable and filled with so many challenges, and yet to hold on to the Lord's hand through all of this WILL be one of the hardest challenges you will ever face. I sometimes feel that He is just waiting for me to surrender and ask Him "Have you forsaken me Lord!??" (I mean... I did have my house broken into where the ONLY thing they took was $300 I had fundraised for the WR a month ago)...and yet... how can I do that?? How can I doubt my Lord... when I know for a fact that He does not give us anything we cannot handle!?? When I was the one who asked for a challenge!?? How can I doubt the one who is my strength when I am weak? Who loves me like no one else? No... if anything I thank Him for this challenge... and I pray that He could use this to strengthen others... that maybe this story needs to be told around the world come September 2012! If anything I am even more passionate about going on the World Race... to share the love of God and to fill people with Hope!
So... again, I apologize for not bringing you along in my journey these past couple of months... I myself am surprised at how I reacted. Many of you received emails asking for prayers... many of you prayed. And I thank you for that... because it was your prayers that got me through these tough months. I honestly know that it was bc of prayer that the Lord lifted this burden and gave me peace instead.... maybe not understanding... but peace in knowing that No! he has not forsaken me... that I am still His daughter and that I will get through this!
So the story continues... SEPTEMBER 2012! Oh... and the new countries are::: Zimbabwe/Botswana, S. Africa, Swaziland, India, Philippines, China, Ukraine, Moldova, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica/Panama :)
And I will say it again... Praise the Lord for He is GOOD!
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Posted in General Posts by Rosamaria Ponciano on 6/6/2011
The front tent will be my home for the next 11 months! Picture taken at our training camp in Copperhill, TN!
My stomach hurts just thinking about the month I have left till I depart to go on this great adventure I have been called to be a-part of: The World Race. This next chapter of my life... 11 months of living in a tent and traveling the world is only one month away! My stomach hurts thinking about leaving my family for 11 months. My stomach hurts thinking about missing my friends' weddings and graduations. My stomach hurts leaving behind a life I have been very comfortable in...and yet...my heart REJOICES!
It has been a week since I have been back from training camp. A week I needed to reflect on exactly what it was I experienced with my new World Race family. I had heard it before: "Training camp will be nothing like what you expect..." and so true to self I began to think of everything trainng camp would be like in order to prepare myself for the unexpected... and still I failed. Training really was anything but what I expected. From day one we sprinted in getting to know who we were and why the Lord had called us to a year of abandonment. The staff made us expose our weaknesses and insecurities and made us get to the core of who we really are. We danced our insecurities away...we danced ourselves free from any strings that were holding us back from going out and answering our call. I got to see many sides of God that I had never seen before. It was challenging...and yet it was beautiful; to see how a group of 50+ could go days being hungry, tired, and still very passionate about serving and praising the Lord was an experience I am willing to live for 11 months straight.
 Meet the W Squad! AKA the Red squad....AKA the Squad Wars Champions!
At the end of training we got assigned to our teams, which are the 6 people I will be living with for the entire year. After much prayer and group building excersises... I am still in awe thinking of how great my team was beutifully picked! Their names are: Jamos and Emily (They have been married for 4 years now, and Jamos being our team leader! Woohooo!), Nicole (Who is absolutely amazing and has such a wonderful heart!), Angela (Who is so on-fire for the Lord!) and Hunter (Whom I am very excited to serve with this year because I know the Lord will use him in so many ways!). This is my team... Powerful Whisper. We picked this name because we are all very much laid-back yet the impact we will have on the world together will be nothing shy of powerful. The Lord tends to speak to us sometimes in a tone of a whisper...and yet even though it is a whisper...it is very much powerful.
Meet the Powerful Whisper team!: (From Left to Right) ME!, Nicole, Angela, Jamos, Emily, and Hunter!
My stomach hurts. It may be because I had to start eating meat again after 4 years... or it may be because at training they helped us grasp the fact that we will be abandoning our families and friends for 11 months to go be the hands and feet of God. It may also be because the work we will go do will not be easy...and because the challenge is a hard one. Going inside the worlds of Human trafficking and refugees will not be easy... and maybe that's why my stomach hurts. It may even hurt because I get nervous seeing how much money I have left to raise...however, my heart rejoices at the fact that I was chosen to do this... that in a month I will be embarking on this journey... that I will be able to make a difference in this world. In the meantime, I will spend as much time as I possibly can with my friends and family... to love and to share these final moments with them.
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Posted in General Posts by Rosamaria Ponciano on 5/10/2011
 First, my apologies for not keeping up with my blog- as many of you may imagine these past couple of months have been filled with many stressful events (Presenting in Seattle, hosting my first 5K, and graduating!). While these have been extremely stressful and I am just now starting to sleep again, I did want to take some time to share with you the success of my first 5K!
I laughed earlier when I read my previous post on finally deciding to host the 5K. What many of you are not aware of is that after posting that I must have canceled the event about 2-4 times which gave me only 1 month to prepare to host this 5K from beginning to end. However, once I did decide to commit fully to this, I held on tightly to Gods hand and on April 30th I hosted my very first 5K having around 50 runners and raising over $900 apart from the sponsorship!
What did I learn? I learned to physically and faithfully trust the Lord 100%. I got to experience firsthand what it feels like to obey God in a totally uncomfortable and strange situation for me. I had no idea why He wanted me to do this, especially because this is not something I had ever done before, and while I love to run I am not much of a "professional" runner like most others who do this. However, this is what the Lord asked of me, and so I just had to trust completely that He would provide.
It was in no way easy, it was challenging in every way you can imagine. Even when it seemed like there was no way I could pull this off I had to remember to keep trusting in Him; for example I had people telling me the weather was going to be horrible (maybe because it had rained everyday till the day of the 5K and the fact that I hosted it on a trail this variable was very important...I mean...the trail was super muddy the day before).However true to His word, God provided me with a wonderful sunny day! Also, sponsorship...I did not end up getting fully covered until the night before when I received my final sponsorship! During this entire month of planning I wanted to give up, but God put amazing people that helped me with it all...especially Keri who encouraged me throughout it, even in nights when I couldnt sleep thinking about this I would call her around 12am and she was there ready to listen and give suggestions!
The Lord did not make any of this easy, and He made sure I would have to trust Him fully till the very last minute. The day of the event I had still not accurately measured the 5K...I had only guessed. SO that morning I went out with Leah and Keri to measure it while posting up the signs and Voila! It was exactly 3.1 miles. God is GREAT! And while it was muddy...it was not too muddy (at least I don't think it was)!
All in all, even though I did have some people somehow going up the wrong hill and getting a little lost due to an arrow that got blown the other way (God has a sense of humor) and then having others that, because of that same reason came out a different exit... it was still a lot of fun!...I even kept getting asked if I was thinking of hosting another one (that was funny!).
 At the end of the day on April 30th I felt a sense of peace.I still had a lot of work to do, however I also felt Gods voice saying
"Congratulations, you obeyed and I provided." This was the best feeling of all, knowing that I was able to obey Him in something that compared to the challenges my squad and I will be facing in the World Race seems so small. I mean- how can I go on a trip like this when I can't even trust him with a 5K?
I will end with this, the ways in which I saw God work throughout this 5K were amazing. Many of you got to witness it because I probably called you crying of joy when a miracle happened. I would not change this for anything. Although, trusting Him was like walking next to a cliff blind-folded trusting Him not to fall... the rush of having this faith is something that I am ready to practice even further, and the World Race I believe will have many of these moments for me to practice it.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"
-Proverbs 3:5
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Posted in General Posts by Rosamaria Ponciano on 2/19/2011
"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."
-Edward Everett Hale
A couple of months ago one of my fellow racers came up with a wonderful idea for a fundraiser: Hosting a 5K. I have never done anything like this, and yet the second I read this I knew it was something God wanted me to do. Answering His call I replied the following: "I am not sure what I am doing...but I am taking a leap of faith and saying YES! I'm in!" The second I clicked "send" I immediately regretted it. I began to feel a sense of anxiety....questions began to pop into my mind: "Can I REALLY do this!? Who would even run a 5K to support my cause? Do I even have the time??" Pshh...I can answer that last question immediately...NO.
With my response off into cyber space I knew I couldn't go back and that I had made a commitment... I even posted post-its all over my room saying "Be Still and know I am God..." and phrases like: "He will never leave you... you can do this.... If God wants you to do this He will help you through it..." You get the point...my room had became a room filled with all of my positive thoughts splattered all over the walls... they were there...they were just...not in my heart exactly. I would read them every morning...but did I really believe them?
With the semester starting with a brutal work overload I quickly began to doubt this potential fundraiser... and just like that last week I had made up my mind that I could simply not do it. I gave up...which those of you who know me know that giving up is just not an option for me...so this was by far a hard decision and a shock. The truth is that I realized that I could not do it... and just like that I gave up on the idea and accepted the reality of what I already know to be true...I am in no way perfect...therefore I had to accept this fact that I could not do this fundraiser. While this was a bad day for me when I decided to give up...looking back at it today I see it as a beautiful moment in my life now...and this is why....
... God broke me. Yes I was right...I could not pull this off....alone. I can however pull this off with His help. The day after I told my friend I could not do it (the first time I verbally said it which for me makes it real...!) I had another friend come up to me very excited about the 5K telling me he had started to prepare to run for my 5K and wanted to check when the date for it was. Seeing how excited he was I felt horrible and I expressed to him my doubts on it. He encouraged me in saying that he believed in me and that I could do it...yet that was not enough. That same day God gave me what I like to call a slap in the face sent from Him. I received an email from Kristina, a wonderful woman who had just hosted a successful 5K "A Run for Shelter" back in September. She had heard of me from Deana, another wonderful woman whom I have had the pleasure of sharing many of my mission experiences with. Kristina asked to meet with me excited to help me with what she could. Reading her email I knew that it was God and that it was his way of helping me... immediately I remembered what His promise was for us..."He will never leave you...He will never forsake you" There in front of me was an angel sent to help me....His promise being fulfilled for me.
Today I met with Kristina at my favorite little coffee shop. She encouraged me and gave me the confidence I needed to pull this off. Yes a lot of the information she gave me was enough to overwhelm me BUT... again I was reminded that I am not doing this alone. This is a community project that can unite a little town called Indiana. Talking to Kristina ideas began to overflow and come to me... maybe a 5K is not the best thing to do...but a Fun Run is! While I do not have the details ready for it now.... I know it is something that WILL happen.
I hope you can come along and join me in what will be a road of discovery for me as well. I CANNOT do this alone...therefore this run will be in most part me accepting a challenge... just know that YOU are part of His plan for me... and if you feel you can help in any way please feel free to be creative and tell me your ideas. As of now I am thinking a Fun Run with a theme of the number 11... a band, some food, ANTYHING! I would also like to partner with the Indiana County Library so that half of the proceeds can go to them. This fundraiser will then help raise funds for two causes: My World Race Mission AND the Indiana County Library who is struggling to stay open.
Save the date: April 30, 2011
Location: To be determined....:/
Cost: Still working on this one.
THIS is part of His design for me.... be part of it because I don't even know what it will look like at the end and that's the beauty of it! That's our God...mysterious yet always answering our prayers and fulfilling his promises :)
"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal."
~Albert Pike
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Posted in General Posts by Rosamaria Ponciano on 1/7/2011
The Lord commanded us to GO.... Shine light in the darkness and speak of His word. This past week I had the pleasure of spending an entire week with a family whom I love very much...the Parker family in Oxford, AL. I was very excited to come spend time with them, but most importantly I was VERY excited to visit their church....Cowboy church. Never had I imagined me going to such a church; cowboys to me only existed in movies....Western movies. Come to find out... there are still cowboys in this world, some of the finest in Alabama by the way!
When I first arrived, Kaydee (the oldest daughter and a great friend of mine) brought up the idea of having me speak at Cowboy church about the World Race, and maybe ask for a special offering. Immediately I felt nervous... I was just looking forward to experiencing the church and checking out the cowboys...from far away... now they wanted me up front not only speaking to them but asking them for money! God really likes to challenge us huh? Well... like always... I accepted. I knew in my heart that this was what God wanted me to do.
A day before I was to go in front of an audience of cowboys and girls I decided to ask Kaydee one more time what it was that she wanted me to say... and this is when I almost fainted. She said that I could talk as long as I wanted... and that I could share my testimony too. Gahhh... this is my weakness... one must always be ready to share the story God gave them...so when a phrase like this comes up it is because God wants you to share! She then proceeded in saying that if I talked around 10-15 minutes that the pastor would just use that as the message of the day therefore, in other words... I could use this time to give a sermon and there would be no problem with that. I knew what God wanted me to do... He wanted me to speak. I felt as if I was put in a western movie... it was me... a 5'5 girl from Guatemala only 22 years old coming face to face with a ton of middle aged 6' cowboys. Thanks God.
Sunday morning came and I was NERVOUS! I was not sure what the Lord wanted me to talk about... I was not sure what He wanted me to say! All I knew was that Cowboy church was in an arena, where cowboys where being reached at to hear the Word of God. What did I have to offer? I had no clue. On our way there I began to look up a bible verse that I could use. I wanted the Lord to direct me...yet He didn't. When we got there I got to meet some of the cowboys and their families. Some I had met the night before at the square dance (where they saw me make a fool out of myself by trying to line dance and square dance J ). One of the pastors welcomed all new comers and gave us all a "Cowboy Church Bible" which I thought was awesome. During worship I began to look through this bible and I found the perfect verse and the message the Lord wanted me to give. It was 2 Corinthians 5:17 which reads:
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has gone, the new has come!"
After reading this verse I felt a little better; I knew what he wanted to me to speak about, yet I was still doubting myself... "Why would God use me to reach these Cowboys?" Then I heard the lyrics of the song Kaydee and Karoline were singing: Mighty to Save.
"My Savior, He can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to Save"
It all of a sudden clicked! My God can move mountains! My God is mighty to save! This powerful God...He is the one I am here to represent! How wonderful it is to know that the one God I live for, the God I represent all over the world is so powerful, so loving, so strong! I would not want to represent anyone else but him.... To know that He has my back and knowing that He is on my side just filled me with such peace and joy to go do just that...represent Him.
After realizing this I heard Kaydee call my name up and there I went... it was one of the best experiences of my life. After I spoke the pastor came up and gave me a donation from their church. Never would I had imagined getting supported by a Cowboy church, especially to reach out to such an incredible group of individuals. I thank God for this opportunity, and for giving me the braveness to say YES. I look forward to represent Him all over the world!
SIDE NOTE: The Parker family has accepted the call from God to plant a Cowboy Church in Alabama. I ask for prayers to keep them motivated and going strong on this mission God has layed on Keith Parker. And a personal thanks for the wonderful I got to spend with each and everyone of the Parker family memebers and friends :) I love ya'll! lol
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Posted in General Posts by Rosamaria Ponciano on 12/22/2010
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29: 11-13
How beautiful and powerful is this promise God made to us. To know that He has a plan for us... that we are not here by accident yet because we have a purpose in Him...
...Lately I continued to feel a little worried about the whole World Race thing....questions began to come up in my mind: "Rosa- is this really what you should be doing? OR are you just being selfish asking for money to go all over the world? Why should people give you money to do this? What makes you so special to be part of something like this? WHY YOU!?"
Ever since I was little I was afraid of becoming a person who believed that "The World Revolved around Me." Selfishness is one thing I strive to stay away from- and yet it is the thought of selfishness that Satan uses against me to conitnue on my mission to serve the Lord.
A couple of years ago I wrote down some of the desires of my heart. A year ago the Lord answered them, and this past September I accepted. Those of you who know me know that my dream has been to travel around the world. I have never been much for traveling as a tourist- yet more to learn about the culture and missions. However, the Lord also saw my desire for education- and how much that means to me. The Lord answered the desires of my heart with the World Race. It was too good to be true. I would be able to take a gap year between College and Grad school traveling the world doing what I love best! After praying about it for a year (to make sure it was what He wanted me to do and not me) it all fell into place. I got accepted to the World Race and I even found the perfect Graduate program for me at the University of Pittsburgh!
So the question remains...why me?
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29: 11-13
This past Sunday I heard a pastor say that one must give it ALL to the Lord- if you have a need, ANYTHING- one must give it all to Him and He will answer and He will deal with it for us. I sought Him, I asked for the desires of my heart...and I gave it all to Him. In other words...I sought Him with ALL of my heart and he answered with The World Race. This is why He choose me for this...because His plan for me is to follow the desires of my heart- which He gave to me after I sought Him (I hope this makes sense). And you know what- He has been with me through the entire process as well!
I leave you with this: Gods plan for us is already written on our hearts... how beautiful is that!? I pray that you ask Him to answer the desires of your heart and that once He does...that you accept it. It will feel "Too good to be true" but that's because that is what your heart desires! And that is the plan that He has for you! SO accept it..and do not feel selfish about it- for once you follow His plan for you, you will be blessing so many other people around you. I have found this to be true with my ministry here. I felt bad asking people for support- yet many have done so because they know that this is His plan for me...and they are being blessed by being a part of my ministry to serve the Lord around the world.
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Posted in General Posts by Rosamaria Ponciano on 11/30/2010
Sometimes, while this may be a very "common sense" practice, we focus so much on looking at what is going wrong in our life that we forget to take a break and look at all the blessings that surround us. I am the first to admit that this has been my attitude lately... and it took me a moment to be vulnerable on FB to realize how much God really has been blessing me... even when I cannot see it. Let me explain...
For some time now I felt that maybe this journey of getting ready to head out to 11 different countries in 11 months was maybe a stretch... regarding money. When I first signed up to do this I felt God's calling and assurance that at the time I may not know how I was going to be able to fundraise for this...but it was going to happen...AT HIS TIME. I began to forget that last part of course and began to notice only the negative things that were going on in my life. I began to stress out about school and not having enough time to fundraise and send letters out and most importantly...I could not get the guts to approach anyone regarding financial support! Aside from this, family "things" were also holding me back... making me doubt my departure date. Finally...in a moment of complete lack of self-control I wrote my feelings out on FB- something I never do! and there it was... once again I began to get emails, calls, comments, you name it! So many of my friends and family- some who I have not talked to in forever and of course... some of my fellow World Racers encouraging me left and right! The amount of support I felt was incredible I could not help but cry! It felt like God's angels just came out of no where...as if these voices had been hiding somewhere waiting to encourage me! It was great!
I began to notice how great the Lord really has been and I began to count my blessings. It's amazing really... in a month I got to lead my family back to church after almost 10 years of them not going... 2 of which have accepted God recently! I also got to fix my relationship with both my father and my step-mother... something that really meant a lot. I also got to fix my relationship with one of my closest friends Amy. These above many others have been great blessings I had forgotten to thank the Lord for! Here he had answered my prayer that I have had for many years... and that was to see my family coming back to Him... and instead of rejoicing in this...I was complaining about my lack of fundraising skills....tsk tsk....
This I have learned... God really does bless us every day... and it is not until we realize this that we are able to completely let go of worries and let Him take control once again... seeing these blessings are like fuel to our flame... the more we realize them... even in our darkest of times... the more we can get encouraged!
I know that support raising for this has not been my strongest point... but I have learned to see through all of His blessings for me that He really will provide.
So stay encouraged! For it says in Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose."
And that's a promise :)
Another BIG Blessing... (From Left to Right) My father, myself, my older sister with my niece Katie (sleeping) and my mother... all together again after 12 years!!! God is amazing :)
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Posted in General Posts by Rosamaria Ponciano on 11/6/2010
So...today I went on a date...but it wasn't just any date... it was the FIRST of MANY. Let me tell you the story...
Some weeks ago, my friend who is currently on the World Race, Taniuska Barbosa (look her up!) wrote a blog about "Dating on the World Race." She wrote about how she had learned of having dates with God, which at first sounds silly, yet it is very powerful. While on the race she herself went on a date with God, and she wrote all about it. After reading her blog, it stayed with me...and i kept thinking about and how excited I was to go on these dates with Him too! And then...it happend...
I woke up today, first day EVER that I had nothing to do. The moment I opened my eyes, I heard Him say "Get ready...we are going on a date." It was so clear! I thought to myself..."where Lord?" And he told me. I got up, got dressed, grabbed a blanket, some hot chocolate, and my Bible. However, before I left I wrote the following on my status on FB: Going on a date at the lake, taking just 3 essential things: blanket, good (not for school) book, and hot chocolate. Perfect. Instatnly i began to receive inbox messages, text messages, even comments saying things like: "What!? with WHO?" or even motivating comments like "If you're going on a date you don't need a book!" If only they knew I thought to myself.
And so...I headed off to Yellow Creek. I was not sure why God was leading me here...I mean...it was raining...and the weather called for some snow. Either way...I went.
When I got there...it was quiet. I layed my blanket out, had my hot chocolate and I sat down next to the water...and guess what? It was not raining! at least not yet... It was absolutley perfect...it was just Him and I. I got to hear the birds, I got to hear how the water would hit the shore, and I got to hear Him. He said to me: "Why wait till we are on the World Race to have these dates Rosa? Why not start now? Hear me, Listen to me." I closed my eyes and I did. When I opened them and I saw the beauty that was before me, I began to cry. This was His gift to me...this was our date.
It's funny because personally, I love going on dates like this. I love adventure, I love nature, and I love good conversation. God, knows this. I look forward to many more dates! And to those of you who told me I would not need a book if it was a date...you were right! This was a very different way God spoke to me; it was not through the Bible, it was actually through nature, and as simple as it is...through listening.
I leave you with this... have you ever heard the sound of a snow flake landing on a lake? I have... thanks to my date today.
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Posted in General Posts by Rosamaria Ponciano on 10/21/2010
We were asked to blog about how we were called to the Mission Field...so here is my story... sit back and enjoy!
Sharing my testimony at the dump in Mexico
Let's just say that it took me almost losing one of my best friends and a picture that God put in my dream that night that led me to the mission field; however, in order to get the full picture let's take a journey back in time to when I was born...it was September 26, 1988...
On that day my grandfather, known as Papicho from here on after, came to visit the newest member of the Parada family...me J I love it when my mother tells me this story...so pay close attention because it was the beginning of a beautiful relationship born that day between Papicho and I. On that day, Papicho picked me up, took me into a room and held me. My mother said that she could see him talking to me, and at the end, he prayed for me- Oh how I wish I could go back and remember what he was saying...but of course...that would be impossible. When he gave me back to my mother he told her that he knew that I was going to be someone very special, and that God had great things planned for my life... and boy was he right!
Papicho and I
Planting the Seed
Papicho had a great testimony of his own; he and my mom accepted the Lord at the same time, and the second he was baptized he made it his life goal to make our family his mission field. He lived to make sure we went to church, that we read our bibles, and most importantly that we learn to love each other an d others the way God had taught him to love. Growing up, Papicho was the head of the family, and under his guidance everyone in our family went to church. At the time we attended Columbia Baptist Church; not only did we all attend, we all were very much involved. My mother and father were the directors of children's ministries, my uncle Ronny taught Sunday school, my grandmother also taught Sunday school and she was also in charge of music. My grandfather was director of the head members of the church and my aunt Mayra was the secretary. Every Sunday after church we would all go to lunch together, whether it was at McDonalds or a fancy Mexican restaurant, it really did not matter. Actually, my favorite was when my uncle Ronny would prepare a big seafood feast and we would all go over someone's hous e and hang out as a family. By the end of the night Papicho would gather all of us together and read us a passage from the bible... he lived for these moments...it was here when he was the happiest. Every Friday night we would also have bible study with other members from our church. All of us kids were not allowed in the living room when they would get together; however I was a-how can I say this- adventurous kid (?) so I would sneak out and see what it was they were doing. My grandfather had the gift of healing...I loved watching him do this. It was through Papicho that the seed was planted in my heart...waiting to grow throughout the years...
Experiencing the first Low
"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."
When I was about 10 years of age, my parents separated and my family stopped going to church. Everyone stopped seeking God, and instead turned to alcohol. Everything happened so fast! My father, the man I loved the most was no longer in my life. Being so young all I could think was that he no longer loved us...that somehow I was not good enough to be his daughter... This situation forced my mother, my sister and I to live in basements for many years; we rented out rooms from people we did not know; we did not stay longer than 3 months in each place. While many felt sorry for us, I can honestly say that these were some of the best years of my life. My mother, my sister and I got to spend a lot of time together and eventually build a relationship that till this day is very strong. I remember one night in specific we rented a room inside a basement; there was one twin size mattress in the bed which we had to share. When we went inside the room we looked at each other, this was our new home. That night we could not sleep...not because we were terribly uncomfortable trying to fit us in a twin size mattress, yet because we could not stop laughing at our situation! Looking back at it now, God was starting to prepare me for this race all along! J
My sister Andrea and my mom= Best Friends...something tells me they will complain about this picture too...:)
It was during this time that God began to put different "angels" in my life. I had begun to go astray; I had my first cigarette at the age of 12 and I began to constantly get detention in school, including suspension. During my sixth grade year I met my soul-sister Jennifer and my best friend Gabriel. They witnessed everything and understood me when no one else would...and it was them who were there for me when Papicho passed away my sophomore year of high school...
The Promise
One of my favorite pictures*
It was the day of our homecoming and my sister and I were getting ready to go! I was 13 at the time and my sister was 15. All of a sudden, my sisters' phone rang- it was my mother. A couple of minutes later we had someone come pick us up and drive us to the hospital where Papicho was laying...helplessly. He had suffered a heart attack and a stroke while he was driving, and now he was there...in a hospital bed. I remember thinking that was his death bed... and it tore me apart. Then, I finally got a moment with him; I went up to him and I put one arm under his neck and held him. I remember praying for him, just like he had done for me 13 years ago, and then I made him a promise that till this day has been the best promise I have made; I promised him that I would continue the fight for him. All I knew was that having us go to church and follow the Lord made him the happiest person in the world, and while I did not understand exactly why that was, I was determined to find out what was so special about this God he believed in and continue what he lived for...and that was to have all of his children come to know the Lord.
His Smile...
Papicho lived a year after the accident; in his last year of life he had lost his ability to speak, and movement on one of his arms. He also lost some memory. On May 21, 2004 my Papicho left this world to join our permanent home in heaven. The morning he left us, my mother came to see him one last time...she said he had the biggest smile on his face...Papicho died smiling! We believe it was because he smiled the moment he saw God come for him... he died in Peace.
Life after Papicho
"In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps"
I wish I could tell you that after that moment I became this big radical Christian and began to live my life by faith...yet that was not the case. I had no idea what I had promised exactly...but it did haunt me. I began to search for answers; I tried going back to church, yet no one would come with me. My mother had left us for some time, and so my sister went back to live with my father and I went to live with Je nnifer and her family. My father had tried to start building a relationship with me again, yet it was not perfect. While he tried, he also continued to hurt me emotionally in the sense that he was not there anymore like he was when we were younger...something I had to get use to. At such a young age, and being left by people whom I trusted the most, I began to make a simple prayer; I began to ask God to harden my heart. I did not want to feel rejection, I did not want to give anyone else the chance to hurt me...and so my heart began to harden. With all of these distractions, I was in no way considering going to college; I simply did not have the grades or the motivation. Fortunately, Jennifer was on the right track...and she, along with my teachers and my school counselor pushed me to get into AP classes and apply for college. They all believed in me, and not one of them gave up. I went fr om being a D student to getting B's! I remember one of my teachers telling me that college would be the key to getting me out of Arlington, and become more independent. That is exactly who I wanted to become! I strived for this and made it to graduation! Not only did I make it to graduation, but I had been accepted to my number one choice of college...Indiana University of Pennsylvania...key word here..PENNSYLVANIA. Throughout this time my counselor, Mr. Clisham pushed me to apply for a scholarship and I got it...! I finally had my ticket out of Arlington...but it was not so easy. At this point, my nephew Mikey had just been born, the relationship between my father and I had gotten a little better, and my friends meant everything to me...and now, I had to leave them. One thing was true...at this point in my life I still had no idea what it meant to have a relationship with God...the only relationship I had been working on had been between me and alcohol... and since Papicho had planted that seed, it was that seed that seed that did not let me stay in Arlington, yet gave me the courage to leave.
Watering the Seed
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness, and speak kindly to her. Then I will give her her vineyards from there, and the valley of Achor as a door of hope."
-Hosea 2:14-15
The day came when I had to leave Arlington and move to IUP...three and a half hours from everything I knew. The first day at IUP, I met a guy named Andrew. He was a freshman as well from a small town in Pennsylvania. He asked me a question I had not been asked for a very long time...he asked me if I was a Christian. By this point I believed in God, and I knew the difference between heaven and hell; yet I also knew that being a Christian meant, in my mind, being...boring. Regardless, I said yes...not knowing what that meant. Andrew invited me to attend Grace United Methodist with him...a church he had found here in town. Needless to say, I avoided him all that semester. Each Sunday morning he would either be at my door or call me, and I would not answer or I would make up some silly excuse. He never gave up. Winter break came and I had succeeded in not making it to church not once!
Hitting Rock Bottom
During my first winter break, I was really excited to go back to Arlington and see all of my old friends. It did not take long before I went back to my old ways and began to pick up my old habits of drinking and smoking. What did not help was that going back I got to see how divided my family really was. My sister was now living with her fiancé Andrew, my mother was living with her fiancé Luis, and my dad was living with his fiancé Paula; they all had built families of their own...while I still considered my family to be the four of us. In order to forget this, and since my heart was a little hardened by this point, I made my friends my family... one of them being liqour. One night, one of my best friends asked me if she could come to a New Year's party with me. When we got to the party she began to drink...a lot. She was not use to drinking... yet because I was drinking a lot myself I did not care to watch her. Needless to say, that night I almost lost her...at least that is how it felt. I found her in a bathroom unconscious. I quickly sobered up and yelled out for help. This was one of the scariest moments of my life; there on the floor was one of my best-friends, in such a horrible condition because of me...because of drinking. After taking care of her and taking her home, I finally fell asleep. It was here where God painted a picture in my mind...a picture that reveled His love for me.
The Picture
"For I am the LORD, Your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you."
- Isaiah 41:13
The picture was of me as a young girl...maybe around the age of 5 years old. I am walking on a zip line just about to fall...but I don't...coming from above, I can see God's hand holding on to mine. It is His hand that keeps me from falling; it has been His hand that has kept me from falling...it has been God who has kept me from falling. This picture said so many things to me...it helped me realize that He has never left me, that throughout all of my childhood he was there, and he continues to walk with me...holding onto my hand. How amazing! The next morning I knew something in me had changed...and I knew I had to continue that change... the second I got back to IUP...I called Andrew and I asked him if I could go to church with him...ironically he was not in town that Sunday...but that did not stop me.
Coming Back to the Heart of Worship
That Sunday morning I attended Grace United Methodist church. Honestly...it was the most uncomfortable situation in my life. I had not step foot in a church for years... I had especially not worshiped. Yet...God has a way of speaking to us, and that morning he spoke to me. Pastor Brad came up and he mentioned a mission trip the church was taking to Tennessee. He said 3 key things: 1) Tennessee (a state I had yet to visit...I could check this one off my list!) 2) It was during Spring Break...which meant it was the perfect excuse to not go back to Arlington and fall back into my old ways, and 3) It was free! I signed up and on April 2007 I went on my first mission's trip!
Once again, I wish I could say that after this mission trip I became this radical Christian and believer...but I did not. I still fell a couple of times, but at this point God was already working on my hea rt. Every time I went back to my old ways, I would feel bad... and eventually I began to lose friends. At the same time, God put people in my life that helped guide me to Him. It was through Grace that I met Tim and Sandy Toy, who became my 'adoptive' parents here in Indiana. It was also through Grace that I met my best friend Leah and many other amazing people. I began to get more involved, and then...God had my second mission trip prepared...Mexico. This mission trip prepared me for the summer that was ahead of me...a summer only God knows how much I grew...my first summer with TEAMeffort in Eureka Springs, Arkansas.
Growing through TEAMeffort
I found out about TEAMeffort through Leah. Ironically, we were put on the same staff together with 4 others who became my family: Will, Joy, Heather and Brad. The six of us were sent to Eureka Springs, Arkansas that summer for two months. It was here that God began to truly break me down and made me face things I was not ready to face...mainly the relationship between my father and I. It was during this summer that God made me witness true miracles! It was during this summer that I shared my testimony for the first time ever. The feeling of reaching others through our stories filled me with such joy! Watching how so many kids accepted God because of our testimonies was incredible...I began to realize that there was nothing more rewarding than this...telling my story for the glory of brining hope to others. My relationship with God grew so much that summer, and I slowly began to let myself die, and let Him take over. It was the best feeling ever! To have such strong faith that He has control of your life now and to know that no matter what challenges are put in your life He can get you through them because you were meant to go through them...knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel...THIS is what Papicho wanted to share! It was during this summer that it finally clicked...and I finally realized what Papicho was living for!
Keeping the Promise
After this summer, I became a new person... a new creation. Instead of asking God to harden my heart, I began to ask him to soften it...to let my heart break for what breaks His. I also began to pray to be used as his instrument...and till this day this continues to be my main prayer. I went back to Mexico, and it was during this mission trip that God began to train me, and challenge m e even further. I was asked to translate during this trip for the entire group... I was the only one who spoke Spanish. It was during this trip that I found myself translating 4 different testimonies in a Mexican jail; it was in this trip that I found myself translating a prayer between Sherry Steele and an older Mexican lady who lived in the dump; and it was in this trip that God taught me one of the biggest lessons I have learned...it is not about me...it is about them...it is about Him.
My Family Today
"Rejoice in Hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in Prayer."
-Romans 12:12
After Papicho passed away my family stopped talking to each other. Two years ago, while I was serving the Lord somewhere in the world, I received a call that my entire family was going to get together for my cousin Karla's sweet fifteen. This was the first time in 3 years that everyone was together, in the same room. That Thanksgiving everyone got together again...and something amazing happened...something I think only I noticed. My uncle Ronny prayed before dinner; it was the first time since I was 10 that we prayed together as a family. Throughout the years I have not given up on my family and the miracle that someday we will all go back to church again. I pray for this every day, and God has begun to respond. Not so long ago I received a call from my cousin Raquel, who is one year younger than I am and...as you can imagine was my partner in crime when we were younger. She had found her way back to God, and her heart was breaking just like mine to have our family go back as well. I believe this is only the beginning. As far as the relationship between my father and I...well it is better...and while I do have a guard up, I believe there is only room for improvement, and I know that no matter what...I do love him very much.
So...how is my walk with God now?
I believe I was called to bring my family back. I believe that while it took me leaving them in order to show them God's grace and love, by going into the mission field and accepting God's call they have seen how great our God is; not only them but others as well (hopefully!). I have accepted His call and this is where He has lead me. It has not been easy I must say...and this is why. I no longer struggle much with ph ysical temptations as far as drinking and smoking. I am now facing a much deeper struggle and battle...and that is a spiritual warfare battle. The more I follow the Lord, the more I am being attacked. However, I pray each day that God prepares me with the armor of God and trust that He will get me through this too. I can honestly say that I am currently living that life He has promised us...a life so much better than what we ever had planned for ourselves...a life we could hardly imagine. This past summer, at 21 years of age, I had the opportunity through TEAMeffort to go serve the people of my country: Guatemala. I was able to bring in over 100 volunteers to my country and guide them in serving and spreading the word of God to my people...this is just a small glimpse of the life God has prepared for me. And now...I am about to leave everything behind, all of my comforts, my friends, my family. I am taking another step of faith and trusting that He will provide. 11 countries in 11 months? Bring it on!
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